Ryeiot of the Opera
by Mistress of Manahawkin
Summary: A new twist on the beloved tale of love and horror. In this version we've taken the J.D. Salienger Catcher in the Rye style and put Phantom of the Opera to it. With perspectives from Raoul, Christine, and the Phantom himself we hope you enjoy and will not
1. Raoul

disclaimer Nothing belongs to us, even the stuff that doesn't seem like it's Phantom of the Opera, that would belong to J.D. Salinger

My friend and I had to write a spin off of Catcher in the Rye for our English class and this is the result. We hope you like it! Please r/r!

**Raoul**

This is such a fking crazy story. I swear to god you won't believe it. I swear to god it's all true. But I mean it's so goddamn crazy you won't believe it. But anyways here's the story…

Ahh, can you believe I have to drive my own coach. I mean it's just crazy. I mean the coachman's just standing thereon the coach but I have to drive? I mean I can drive and I look good and all and I always _look_ good but it's just backwards. And I can drive a coach and all but it messes with my hair so goddamn much it's just crazy.

Anyways I'm messing up my hair by driving this coach because I _have_ to go to The Opera Popular. I gave them a load of money and now I'm supposed to be this "Great Patron" and all. I mean I haven't even _seen_ any of the shows but my parents are all big opera fans and all. So they want me to be this "big fan" too, and enjoy it. But I think it's worth ruining such good hair!

So I get there right? (My hair is such a goddamn mess) and everyone is singing and dancing and smiling and saying "Oh Patron, oh Raoul" blah blah, "Thank you Raoul" blah blah. Then they started this big practice right? All these crazy people in all these crazy costumes are dancing and singing all over the place. It was crazy like chaos, really. Then this big girl called Carlotta starts screaming and crying and it's all pretty annoying so I leave. Because I have to be here _again_ tonight and it's gonnna take me _hours_ to fix my hair after the ride here and back…

At night when I get back to the Opera House my hair is as good as the rest of me. Thankfully I found a coach driver who actually drove. I mean how hard is it supposed to be? Finding a coachman who actually _drives!_ So I'm shaking hands and all, I'm smiling. Then, finally the show starts and I don't have to deal with a bunch of jokers. Then at the end I see her. This girl I haven't seen in years. But "can it be? Can it be Christine? Long ago, it seems so long ago…how young and innocent we were. She may not remember me but I remember her…"

But I swear she's gorgeous. I means she really knocks me out. So after the show I go and talk with her in her dressing room. I call "hey little Lottie" and we start shooting the breeze. And she _really _knocked me out. So I wanted to take her out to dinner and she's like "no the angel of music is strict and won't let me." But I said I'd come for her any ways and told her to change.

But when I get back to her room these really crazy things happened. I swear there was this moaning voice singing to her and the shity door wouldn't open and I swear it was a goddamn man's voice and she wouldn't let me in…

I hope you like it so far! Since we had to write this story for English it's all finished, no waiting! So hurry up and read the rest then r/r! Thanks!


	2. Christine

disclaimer Nothing belongs to us, even the stuff that doesn't seem like it's Phantom of the Opera, that would belong to J.D. Salinger

**Christine**

So I can't even believe it, that my childhood sweetheart was here. I mean it's crazy and amazing. So he is asking me out to dinner but I gotta say I shouldn't but I really want to go. I started to change and when I was just about to leave the angel of music, I mean the Angel of Music starts singing to me!

"Insolent boy, this slave of fashion! Ignorant fool this brave young suitor!"

"Angel I hear you…."

"Flattering Child….I am your angel of music…Come to the angel of music!"

So then I go through the mirror and the Angel of Music is the _Phantom of the Opera!_ I mean this is crazy. Insane. But I swear I can't move and he leads me through the catacombs.

Singing going on

So we finally get to where we had been going and I think it was his home. Anyway there is an organ and drapes and a bunch of candles. I mean there was more stuff than I could count. But I was singing at that time and it is hard for me to count and sing at the same time. But we're singing and it's so romantic there and he practically prepossesses marriage. Could you believe it? Marriage to me and I think I faint because I just black out after that.

Then I wake up in this crazy comfy swan bed with this little monkey playing "Masquerade, Masquerade." I don't see the Angel anywhere so I go looking for him and he is there playing the organ. So I go over to him and I talk for a second. But then I pull off his mask and he **_EXPLODES!_** I mean with a face like that he should explode. I mean it was crazy horrible. It was so messed up I can't even describe it. He explodes and starts calling me a demon, a viper, a bitch and cursing me off which was just mean and stupid. I mean it wasn't my fault that his face was really, _really_ messed up. But he cools off and we're cool and he takes me back to the Opera House. Well I find out that the place is really messed up and the Angel wants _me_ to be the Countess in _Il Muto_ but I have to play the pageboy because everyone is in love with _Carlotta._ And I _know _the Phantom is gonna be mad about it…

So the show has started and Carlota is all gloat-y but the Phantom breaks out during the performance. Boy is he MAD .First he yells about how the new managers didn't listen to him. Then he disappears. Suddenly Carlota starts practically gagging on stage going "Whoa, moo", and "Ekk" and the whole audience just explodes. They all smash out laughing and the managers run down and they say that I will start playing the part of the Countess in ten minutes and poor Maestro has to play the ballet from stupid Act III.

But when I'm getting changed the Phantom actually hangs some poor man on stage, in the middle of the ballet. So I'm like I have to find Raoul and hide. So I grab him and bring him to the roof. While we're up there he says he loves me, and I'm amazed and I want to get engaged right away. So I thought the coast was clear and we headed back down to the opera house.

Three months later…

I mean its sooo cool, you wouldn't believe it. I mean it's the New Year and everyone is going to the masquerade! Raoul and I are engaged but I haven't seen my Angel in sooo long, but I don't want him to know I'm engaged because he'd get angry. But Raoul wants me to tell everyone and I don't. So the Masquerade starts, and Raoul and I are dancing and it is just plain so nice, but then the Angel appears. I'm scared and happy at the same time and go up to him. But I mean really angry. I mean Really Angry. He has been writing an Opera for three months and gives it to the managers. Then he disappears and Raoul goes after him. I don't see Raoul again till much later and he won't leave me alone. So I have to sneak out the next morning to my father's grave. And it is so sad and sooo gloomy. I am so sad that I lost my Angel and my father who sent him. I mean it was so depressing to loose people like that. But I get even more sad and depressed as I move toward my father's grave. But when I get there I hear singing. It's like the Angel of the music followed me there…


	3. Phantom

disclaimer Nothing belongs to us, even the stuff that doesn't seem like it's Phantom of the Opera, that would belong to J.D. Salinger

This was our favorite chapter to write!

_**Phantom**_

This is so damned fked-up. I have taught Christine everything but she doesn't even give a damn for me. I keep trying and trying to just show her I love her and she just tosses me out! Can you even believe that, can you? I just think it's fking crazy, just fking crazy. But anyway I try to show myself to her again and win her over and who the damn shows up but that Bastard Raoul.

Can't he just disappear or die already? What right does he have to her anyways? None! He only fell in love with her after he heard her sing! I think that is such a load of bullshit. So I mean to deal with this bastard but some how he gets the upper hand, which is just shitting me. And Christine, _CHRISTINE_ for Christ's sake, decides to step in and ride off with the little fker. By then I was more depressed than you could imagine, seriously. Really I had to get revenge…I just had to….

So the shitty managers finally are gonna put on my awesome opera. And it's about time. And I have a nice wicked surprise in store for the finally. But I will have to knockout some of the competition to get my place. The lead I'm supposed to get, goddamn Piangi that fat assed sell out who Carlotta loves is supposed to play Don Juan! What the hell? I mean who could be the least like Don Juan! He's fat! Don Juan's fking cunning and charming! But boy, will the finally be good…

So after I've nabbed my spot on stage I go after _my_ leading lady. Boy, I am in love with her. I'm just sooo in love with her. Onstage in front of everybody I beg her for her love and you can't even imagine what she does to me! _ME! _She, that bitch, pulls of my mask and wig and shows my face off to the goddamned world!

She shows me off for them to point and shoot at me. I just hate her. She just completely betrayed me to everyone! But my surprise finally is due. I hacked the chandelier's rope and let it fall on those phony bastards who wanted to laugh at me. I let that goddamn opera house burn to the ground. I nabbed Christine and I dragged her back with me, I was so angry. I was so angry, depressed and betrayed. I thought "let her be tortured like me," she deserved it. You know what? She acted like I had broken _her_ heart! You know _she _was mad at_ me_, can you believe that. Can you? So what happens but her little lover shows up. Well this time I have _him_ where I want him, and that is hanged.

So I tell her, "So do you end your days with me, or do you send him to his grave!" I couldn't help my self, I had to give the rope an extra little tug. And can you believe it but now she says she _hates_ me. Then she comes over to me praying to god she doesn't puke or something and she kisses me….

And it just makes me feel so humane and so depressed. I let them go and tell them never to speak of this and to forget me. Before Christine leave she gives me _her wedding ring._ But I decide to leave everything behind leave the opera; to just exist somewhere else in solitude, alone. And boy did it kill me…

The end.

Well, that's it, please r/r! My apologies for those who think this is OFC, but we try. Hey! We had a due date and I believe in original work, no revision! (shh! that's not true at all) Alright, I'm done rambling, now please! Tell me what you think! You know I wanna know what you guys think of this, good and bad! Bring it on!


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